What Kit Fisto Heard
by Scriptor Sapiens
Summary: Quite innocently, Kit's ear fell upon the door... Contains adult themes, not for children under 16. Seriously.


Kit Fisto was strolling down the main hallway, whistling a little tune to himself. In his hand, he clutched a round practice droid that he had borrowed from Obi Wan. Now he was making his way to the Jedi Master's room to return the droid.

He reached the door and lifted a hand to knock, when he suddenly recognized the sound of someone moaning inside the room.

_"Yes…oh, yes!..." _

He frowned. Obi Wan? What in Hell fire…

He lowered his hand from its knocking position and instead, pressed one side of his tentacled head which had an ear-like organ beneath the skin against the door, listening intently.

_"Harder, harder!" _

_ "Is that it?"_

Ventress?

_"No…harder, Ventress!"_

Ventress made a very low chuckle.

_"Why, Master Kenobi, I didn't know you could be so demanding."_

_ "Don't tease me, you cruel…"_

With every passing second he listened, Kit's eyes had gotten wider and wider, and his mouth had dropped open. He clamped a hand to his mouth to keep from giving an involuntary squeal.

"Oh, my…" he breathed.

_"Oh, YES! There! Ah…"_

_ "Mmm, there we go."_

Kit's face was bright red. He couldn't listen to anymore before he would scream. Practice droid forgotten, he sprinted away down the hallway, and skidded to a halt outside the door to the mess hall, practically busting it down.

He spotted Luminara, Padme, and Anakin enjoying a lunch. Rex and Ahsoka were training hand to hand in the gym.

He sprang to the table, sat down heavily in an empty chair, and heaved deep stunned breaths, just staring into space.

Luminara, Padme, and Anakin stared at him for a minute. Then Luminara touched his shoulder. "Master Fisto, are you—"

He grabbed her shoulders and shook her like a rattle. "I'M TRAUMATIZED!"

"What happened?" Anakin was quite alarmed. Kit looked like he had seen a ghost.

"VENTRESS AND OBI-WAN WERE…" He realized that half the hall had turned to him with shocked expressions. He gave a quick little wave, and he lowered his voice. "Ventress and Obi-Wan were smexing it up in Obi-Wan's room!"

They stared at him for a minute like he had two heads, mouths wide open.

Then they collapsed on the floor in a fit of hysteria.

"I'm serious!" The nautolan was indignant. "I went to Obi-Wan's room to return the droid, and I heard them!"

"Let me get this straight," Anakin giggled, coming back to the table and gazing at Kit with an expression that one might fix on a child. "Ventress, the Sith assassin, and Obi-Wan, the Jedi Master, who, we must remember hate each other's guts. They were doing it?"

"YES!"

They still shook their heads, giggling with mirth.

"I'm telling the truth!" he shouted.

"Well, don't worry," Padme snickered, looking towards the door. "We can ask them ourselves."

At that moment, the tall pale Sith and the red-headed master walked in the door, chatting amiably and grinning.

Kit gave a squeak, and tried not to blush.

The two sat down across the table from each other.

"Hello there, you all," the Jedi Master said, helping himself to some of Anakin's caldermelon. "What are you all grinning about?"

Luminara wiped the grin from her lips. "Nothing, Master."

Ventress and Obi-Wan exchanged frowns.

"Alright," the Master muttered. He caught sight of Kit, who was just sitting there, seemingly frozen. "Oh, Kit, I was wondering if you could give me my droid back? I wanted to get in some practice today."

Kit gave a sound like a mouse being squished. He nodded.

Obi-Wan stretched upwards, and fixed the assassin with a grin. "Ventress, I must thank you for that massage. My back was really hurting."

Ventress nodded, merely straightening her glove. "Think nothing of it. That salve should keep your muscles relaxed for the next couple of days, and by then, the pain should be gone."

All through that little exchange, Kit's grimace had changed more and more into a frown.

"OH!" he finally shouted, jumping up from the table.

Ventress and Obi-Wan looked at him, as the rest of the table snickered under their breath.

"What's 'OH?'" the Master asked.

"OH!" And with that, Kit slammed the round droid on the table and marched away.

They looked after him, and then looked at the rest of the sniggering group.

Padme, Luminara, and Anakin quickly regained composure, and grinned at them cheesily.

"Do you have any idea what that insect was talking about?" Ventress asked.

"Not a clue," Anakin stifled a snicker, and then turned back to his mausee pudding.

FIN.


End file.
